Day 19 and 20 - Bodies, room switching and back breaking journeys

I saw this on the streets of Shanghai, outside a hospital. I kid you not, this is a body!

Day 19 - 12th July

So I had a new room because I forgot to book my extra night and we had some strange things crawling around in there. But it was nice to have an ensuite and a double bed. It wasn't so much the space, it was more it came with two pillows. I tell you, one pillow sleeping is the worst.

So the rumours of the worst typhoon in 35 years were slightly true, it just didn't hit Shanghai as expected. I spent most of the day loading up on food and drink, knowing I had a long train journey ahead of me on a hard seat. One of my travelling companions laughed and wished me good luck. I thought that was nice of him.

Oh my God, my back is like Batman's in The Dark Knight Rises.

I realised when I sat down the error I had made. Try new things, I told myself when booking. You've done the soft sleeper. There was a reason, you prat! Now the pictures don't do it real justice for a number of reasons:

This is the ticket attendant / salesman

This terrifying crap was going on behind me.

- the seats are just covered. Beneath that silky looking cover is solid metal.

- there is no social decorum i.e yelling, spitting and standing on the chairs is fully acceptable.

- the ticket attendants try to sell you stuff non stop. I had a vegetable sharpener (picture a giant pencil sharpener and stick a cucumber it!) before taking the sharpening and put it over people's faces, triple use cables and spinning tops shoved at me for sale whilst I was trying to sleep.

So sixteen hours of all that going on and you're trying to sleep. It's never going to happen. I had about six attempts with my cap over my face, my headphones in and trying not to slide sideways to one of the passenger next to me (they did not extend me the same courtesy). I probably achieved ten minute bursts so by the time we arrive in Guangzhou, I was knackered.

The Dorm - in theaters for the next six months.

Day 20 - 13th July

So I arrived in Guangzhou with a nasty cold. Great! What made it worse was that it was ten degrees hotter than it was in Shanghai, I was wearing jeans and I was sleep deprived. Not what I wanted!

I located my hostel on the Wharf after a twenty minute circular walk (for a country ahead with technology, they sure don't know how to signpost anything) before heading out for food to gorge on. Once I was full up, I went back to the hostel to pass out.

My masterplan was foiled only by introducing myself to my Chinese roommate, who looked like he was working undercover for the Triads, and insulting him by saying Ni Hao (obviously he doesn't do hellos'.) Our thirty second stare off was the only exchange we've had so he became my target to annoy in Guangzhou. I'll keep you posted. My towel and smelly shoes hung by his bunk is just the start. Also I was awoken by the receptionist, who came in mid evening and said "Here Dennis. You forgot at reception." It was my phone I passed them with my reservation. I'm glad they have some honest people here, although I'm sure the Chinese government now have a clone of my phone on their database so when they find out I'm a spy, my covers blown! 00 negative!