Wednesday, 19 August 2015

Day 51 - Suit fittings, collections, lost items and mind manipulation


Jordy and I had haircuts last night. A steal at 150,000 VND.

Day 51 - 13th August

Hoi An was certainly living up to my expectations of Asian weather. Another scorching day at 36 degrees. My hope had been diminishing every day since that first day in Beijing, when it had been raining heavily, an issue I'd have to get used to quickly because it's featured heavily on my trip!

It was a sad day ahead - MORE shopping, I'd lost my room key so I'd have to pay for a new one and Sèbastien was leaving us!

We had new roommates, Stoke double act - Tom and Ron, some of England's finest joining me to try to overthrow the European invasion going on in our dorm. Just kidding. Jordy and Sèbastien liked the accent, comparing it to my southern version.

Anyhow, Sèbastien and I headed to Camel travel to book our bus tickets to Nha Trang. For once, the assistant was quick and helpful and shortly after, we went in search of the infamous ATM that offered over 2,000,000 VND withdrawals. And we found it, finally! I was grateful because explaining to two tailors you don't have their money after they've made $200 suits for you wasn't going to end well.

When we reached the shoe shop, we were each greeted with a pair of dark brown, leather brogues, custom made. What a treat!

Feeling pleased with ourselves, we headed back to Bebe's to try out the full outfit. I'm not going to be modest on this occasion. We looked good, the suits fitting well and I felt like it was money well spent. My assistant, Mai with her matching yellow nail polish to my suit lining, couldn't help standing next to me in front of the mirror, joking about how good we looked. She was a good crack, and made my shopping experience a lot less dull than it is normally.

They said they had a few more alterations for us so we'd have to come back later for a final fitting.

Mr Xe was the next to welcome us, his assistants giggling and making us feel like jokers. Mr Xe personally fitted our shirts for us, pulling us side to side in his sweet, four foot, three way. When he tugged and pulled as much as he could so I felt like I was wearing a morph suit, he presented me to his magic mirror. 'Perfect, yes?' he said. 'Handsome man.' Again, I was sure Asian's are either short sighted or just have never seen the likes of David Beckham or George Clooney aka Cloontang. But it helps sales, I guess.

He told me to return later in the afternoon once they had pressed the shirt and finalised it.

I was ready for Lunch and Jordy had seen this place in the old town called Before and Now. Great choice, I had a belting burger - the best so far in Asia. We all joked about Mr Xe's style and the women he worked with. They had been joking that Mr Xe was the father of their babies - it could be plausible if a. he wasn't late fifties and they were all mid twenties, b. four out of five were pregnant at the same time and near the same due dates which would mean he'd have to be as rapid as one of his sewing machine and c. he wasn't perhaps gay. Gay or not, he was a great guy and one of the best tailors in Hoi An.

An afternoon suit collection at Kimmy's saw me say goodbye to Madonna who asked me to leave her feedback on my tripadivsor page. I told her I'd head it 'Madonna's my material girl at Kimmy's' but it did not have the impact I was hoping for. Ah, English humour is lost here, 

My shirt collection at Mr Xe's limited our movements for the afternoon but we were getting closer to getting the final products. The same applied a short while after when we returned to Bebe's.

And then we were done with shopping for the day. Another stop at the post office for postcard send offs took place. Sèbastien wanted us to meet the girls at the beach and for us to have dinner before he would catch his bus at 6pm to the airport.


An Bang beach was stunning.

And then my master plan began. Over dinner, I began planting seeds of doubt in Sèbastien's head who was not sure if he wanted to leave us behind to go to Saigon. With the help of Jordy, Lady Julie and Anne Banana, we cancelled his transfer bus, sent his food back to delay it and plied him with beer. When I told them all to look one way, I slid his bike key away from the table and tossed it into the nearby sands of An Bang beach... never to be seen again. As a sweetener, we put down half his air fare of €30 Euros to stop him from being too out of pocket. After orchestrating his life for him in such a way, it was the least we could do. 

Despite his best efforts to give it back, we felt it only right he had it, but what a way to keep the group together!

Jordy rushed off for another suit fitting on my bike after realising he'd lost his bike key. I used a key ring and tried to prise it open, sweating my nuts off as I did so. I'd like to say I'm the hero of the story but the parking attendant and his hack saw, which he produced with a little too much ease (he's probably seen this a thousand times from tourists).

When we arrived back, Jordy was down 30,000 VND for replacing the bike lock whilst I was coughing up 120,000 VND for a new room key. I still know I hadn't lost it and I think someone in the room had picked it up. Anne Banana was my bet.

A cold beer and dessert of my new favourite, banana pancakes was in order after a strenuous day. The group toasted Sèbastien's return and he was going to join us all the way to the end! Happy days!

I attempted again to get my DBS check cleared for volunteering in Cambodia in less than a week and a half. Again, it was met with more blockades and bureaucracy. It will teach me to get my arse in gear in future! Watch this development!

Our evening was rounded off with games pool and whiskey. Perhaps a little too sophisticated for backpackers but we enjoyed it all the same.

A day that could be seen as a pivot for something special in the coming days . . . or maybe it's just a bloody good day!

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